Let’s hold a candle up for all who need a moment to disappear. I’d hold a candle for you Tolu. I’d hold a candle for all the times you knew better. I’d hold candle for the shame pulling at your shirt. Infact, I’d switch on all the lights for every time you shy away from yourself.
It’s not about the candles. Left to me, I’d sit in darkness opposite from you so all I can hear are the whimpers. Some days, I want to catch you in a big embrace and tell you to toughen up. It's not about the lights, it’s about your light. The ones that shine so little that I never recognize them anymore. I’ve seen you coy in corners, build barriers and fade into time.
The rolls on your back a reminder of who you never were and always would be. I hit your head with a staff hoping you’d get some senses. Smell the coffee! Sorry the cocoa! You can’t be whole anymore. I’d hold a candle for all the parts of you I have had to pick up over the past few years. Somedays, I really can’t recognize you.
They say smile even when it hurts but instead, I cry when I think of you. Your scars, your baggage and your shame. I’d hold a candle for all your genius ideas fear snatched from you. Then I’d push you into water in hope of redemption. Look where you are standing at! We have cleaned and yet our souls remained soiled.
I hold up a candle for all the hurt we’ve known and love we never received. I hold a candle for all the times you shut the world out. It’s cold when I’m with you because you’ve been frozen for a while. Somedays, there’s put darkness in you I can never reach and other days, your joy scares me. Let me, please! Let me!! Let me hold your hand towards redemption. The silence often engulfs me and sometimes, silence is too loud! These candles are my love letters. Every love I ever felt for you imprinted in each flame.
The scars on you make you unrecognizable. The shame you bore has totally covered your face. Your fear pulls at me. Let me! We are sadists. Never fully singing a happy rhythm. Somedays I want to yank you back in time. I want to beat love and gratitude into you. Maybe then, you’d see clearer. Tolu, let me hold up a candle. For all times I genuinely want to scream and cry with you. For every time you have looked around and you were truly alone.
For all the times where there was no one looking out for you. I want to turn on the lights for everything about you that you have come to hate. For how hard it has been recently and how hard you have smiled through it. I want to hold a candle for days like this when you finally break down and I see those tears roll. For every call back that never came and the texts that never sent. If only I could hold up a thousand candles, each of them will be for you Tolu. You fight! Then you fight some more!
I will keep holding my candles till you walk by casually and blow them out. I will keep sitting in darkness until you turn on the lights your self. I will wait in silence until you finally scream out. We have been in this cage for a while and all my candle wax has burned deeply into my palms. But I hold a candle still. Each one for you!
Within our deepest sorrows, we seek solace in the ache.
P.s please clap up to 50+ times
