Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. — 1 peter 4:8
You are perfect. Flaws and all
The first time I was ever conscious of how I looked was when some kids in primary school had made a comment on how my lower lips were bigger. Something I’d later learn was called “Lebe”. I had looked at my dad and said, “I hate my lips”. He had told me “You are beautiful, every part of you and none more than the other. You give people the right to make you feel bad”. I grew up only to see girls get lip fillers for this same lip effect that I was teased for years in a row. You were right, dad. Love is patient and kind — 1 Corinthians 13:4
Women can be whatever they want
I was always a weird child. While other kids played, I was always in a corner reading a novel. My Dad picked on this early and made it his duty to always buy me novels from every trip. Soon after, I became obsessed with watching interior design shows on Tv and would arrange our house to look as close as it could to the houses I saw on the screen. My dad had looked at me and said “you could be an architect. An interior designer”. While other kids were trying to be doctors, I knew what I was going to be. An architect. I did not know women could do this too because they were all men doing it in the TV. He had said “Aunty Sarah is an engineer; you can be anything you want”. The first time I thought myself equal to a man, He taught me. Love does not rejoice about injustice — 1 Corinthians 13:6
Failure is normal, you tried.
I was always a smart kid and so failure was foreign to me. My earliest memory of failure was my result in SS1 after I switched to science class a week to exam. I got more D’s than I had seen in my life. He did not flinch; he was not mad. He said, “You tried, let’s try better”. The second memory was when I failed IGCSE. I cried so hard as I stared at my result in the office beside my dad. Again, he did not flinch, he was not mad. “It is now in the past; Let’s work better for the WAEC” he said. I learnt failure was fine because of you. My first love, you were right. Love never gives up — 1 Corinthians 13:7
Trust in the lord with all your heart
My fondest memories of Christianity were laying on the bed and singing hymns with my dad on Saturdays. I grew up in a spiritual home, but I was not spiritual myself. My demons were that the bible did not preach feminism and I was a feminist. As I grew older, life became more real and the places I had put my trust began to fail. I remember the night I realized I was exhausted. I laid on the floor, heart aching from hurt and I just cried and said, “Help me, I'm tired of running”. Years down the line, it has never made more sense to trust. You were right, my first love. Love always trusts, always hopes— 1 Corinthians 13:7
I know best
The one flaw in my relationship with my dad is that we are both strong personalities. He is bossy and I am a feminist. Often times we bicker and sometimes, tempers rage. One person needs to be right and who would it be? But one thing was no matter the anger, it did not last for long. We start to laugh, and we start to play. Love is not easily angered and it keeps no record of being wronged. — 1 Corinthians 13:5.
Hold my hand, that is enough
Last December, I had gone to a library for a case study for my project. I had told my dad I was not sure how to go about it. He drove me there and immediately I entered, he struck a conversation with the librarian, and I could sneak out and look around without being bothered. Not once have I ever looked over my shoulder and did not see my father. Every graduation, every praise and every disappointment. One person that will be there is my father. He is not just static. He is holding you and doing everything for you so all you have to do is focus on the task. Love always protects — 1 Corinthians 13:7.
I know love, I grew up in it.
I have lost my ability to love romantically due to recent events. I am broken, fragments of myself scattered, and I stay trying to piece them together. One thing however is, I have not lost the ability to care and love others genuinely. I cry just praying for my friends and family. I am broken but I know love. I grew up in it.
I saw love and I felt it. Not one thing I wanted was not given to me in excess and not once did I ever feel I was standing alone. I was a boarding student and our paarents could not visit on birthdays or send gifts but every birthday, my father sent cards. To me, those were notes of love. Every visiting day, he was present. Every time I was stranded, he was there. Every time I got into trouble; his voice was the loudest defending me.
Now as a grown woman, every time I need a break, I know to go home. I know that I could get all the ice creams and kilishi’s I crave by telling my father. I know that if I want to talk about life or cry like a child, my father’s room is the best place. I know that the days I have hospital appointments, my father’s car will be waiting to drive me there. I know that every time I land in Abuja, my father will be there to pick me up. I know that I if could take tea at night with my dad and go for a drive, I will be better. I know that every time I start feeling fat and need to jog, another person will be behind me jogging and that is my dad. I know that I am an architect because my dad saw my potentials before I saw them.
I know love, I grew up in it.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. — 1 John 4:18
P.s please don’t forget to clap up to 50 times and help me share. It’d mean alot.
