situationship
/sɪtjʊˈeɪʃ(ə)nʃɪp,sɪtʃʊˈeɪʃ(ə)nʃɪp/
noun
a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established.
Ola swears we as Africans are obsessed with titles. The need to label everything so we feel safe.
Here I am in my reggae kaftan bending my back to dance in tunes I do not understand. My kaftan pulling away for a need to be titled as I continue to swerve in directions untitled so Ola sees. Ola. My friend, who is more than a friend but remains just a friend.
Friend being a pocket for unexplainable relations. That’s the thing about Ola. He’s smooth with it. Standing at 5”11, towering over me with his creased shirt and head of opinions. He’s familiarly unfamiliar.
I know ola. I swear I do. I know that his glasses were intentionally made to look like he wore them for aesthetics. Mostly, I knew underneath his trousers. His instrument, a stamped image in my brain, unyielding to be forgotten. I will tell you what the hair looked like. Yes, The one down there. The pale coloured boxers and body I knew a little too well. Blue? Black? White? No, he does not wear briefs.
His Favourite rhythm when we make music in the dark.
Well, there. I told you I knew him. You say? Oh!! I do not know who he is outside that. I know Ola’s body. His outside capsule but I am never invited beyond that and I’m well mannered. Never going to places I am not invited. I can see his body but never his heart. I know my place. I didn’t deserve that or he just didn’t see me that way.
I have seen him invite other people in however but that was my job. See, touch, listen. Don’t come in.
Well, I’d let you in on a little trade secret. My code of conduct. Situationships are never planned, they happen. You don’t leave, you get hurt. You can’t get detached, you’re already too attached. You’re cool but not cool enough to inform the world. We could be in a room together, lights off, sweat dripping and our bodies moving in synchronized rhythms but never could we speak on it after.
Most importantly, Never ask “who are we?”
Run. Save your heart. Stay away.
I hear it in my head. How do you run away from the most inconsistent consistency you’ve had in years? How do you lose pleasure and subtle friendship in one person?
OlaJide says dance, break your back as you swerve but the Batá no longer appeals to my ears. My kaftan winning this war. My back unable to bend further. Ola sees.
What are we?
Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business or a hobby.” —Neil Strauss
P.s: please don’t forget to clap 50+
